Just some quick thoughts going through my head

I just wanted to post one thing really quick. Collegefootballnews.com's (Its linked on the sidebar) preview of Duke mentioned how it would never win an ACC title. Never is a long time, I think they are probably wrong, one year will come when maybe Miami or FSU is down, and Duke will have a bunch of Seniors, and they'll win some games. I've wanted to post what I'm going to now for a while, and now its on my mind, so I will:

Top Ten Football Programs (In terms of how their limited success surprises me)that should be better than they are:

10. Kansas- Seriously, if Nebraska can be a great program, and Kansas State can sell itself as a football school despite being one of the worst programs ever, the school in Lawrence can do better than they are doing.

9. Boston College- I know they've had some success, but its been limited. There is no great football school in the northeast. They can be that. Perhaps, given their move to the ACC and their isolation from everyone else in the conference, they will be able to capture the minds of players in New England and elsewhere in the Northeast.

8. Minnesota- They once were great. Now, without a campus facility, they lack any sort of pull to make kids want to go there. They are trying to build a stadium on campus, which would be the newest stadium in the Big Ten in forever, so they have that selling point.

7. Hawaii- Come on, I realize you play your games at 1 AM eastern time, but you get to play in Hawaii. They are building something now with June Jones.

6. Rutgers- They are the only D-1 school in a talent rich state, and have easy access to eastern Pennsylvania, given that Temple is terrible. But they stink. Lou Holtz said a long time ago that they should change their name to "The University of New Jersey" rather than have their off-putting, faux-Ivy League name. He may be right.

5. North Carolina- They don't need to worry about Duke. Wake is an afterthought for the kids in state. NC State will always be thought of as second rate. Chapel Hill has everything you might want, it has academics, and a good area. They've produced some good players (LT, Dre' Bly). It just has to be put together, maybe by a guy wearing a visor perhaps?

4. Missouri- (Sorry Kaiman) Two great football cities on either side of the state. Talent in the suburbs of those cities, as well as easy access in the rest of the state and southern Illinois. But they never take advantage. They have a solid history as a program, but it seems thatsince the Big XII was formed they have never put it all together other than working with one great player (Brad Smith). (Speaking of that, Virginia Tech is headed down this road. Since Vick left, they have done nothing but underachieve, entering the new ACC, they can't afford to do that any more, speaking of which...)

3. Virginia- They should own the mid-Atlantic. There is no reason that they and Maryland, and even Virginia Tech, can't be good at the same time. Charlottesville is a beautiful area, not as backwater as Blacksburg is. Virginia has fertile recruiting ground the the Newport News/Norfolk area, and they should get more kids form DC. UVa stands for something academically, but they also underachieve from where they could be athletically, this will sound familiar later.

2. Illinois- Growing up in Big Ten country, at a time when Ohio State was down a bit, Michigan/Illinois was the big game every year. Michigan won, but everyone knew that Illinois would usually be their top competition. Then Jeff George and John Mackovic left, and its all gone to hell. They won the Big Ten title a few years ago, but that was with a big group of seniors who'd been through a lot together. Last year, they failed to win a game against a D-1A opponent (they beat Illinois State, the fighting Starkos). They have an incredible base of talent in Chicago and the suburbs. They have downstate virtually to themselves, they should get more people than they get, and the coaching should be better than it is.

1. The University of California, Berkeley- Every time I see Cal play, I wonder why they have to be a sort of one hit wonder. They do well every few years but they do not stay good over a long period. There is not a public university this side of Penn that can provide the educational advantages Berkeley can, and the Bay Area is a great place to live. They aren't going to be USC, they don't have that tradition, but there is no reason they cannot reach the same level, and surpass, the athletic prowess of the private school they hate so much in Palo Alto. Stanford has the best athletic program in the country. Football is not one of its best sports. Cal could, and if they can keep Jeff Tedford for a while they just might, become dominant in Northern California and start to effectively wage battle with USC for recruits. That would make them a national power in the same way Florida or Florida State has been

Wednesday???
The long weekend has really thrown me for a loop as far as knowing what day it is. I had worked myself into a nice steady routine the last few weeks, and now that's gone, because my class shifted days and venue. Not that I mind, I'd rather come downtown than drive to Schaumburg, but its just going to take some getting used to (the new routine). Ilost my keys on the bus yesterday, luckily I realized it before I got very far. I called the CTA and found out where I needed to go to pick them up. For anyone unfamiliar with it, the Blue Line takes this very weird path, for a rail car, it goes from O'Hare to downtown, meaning it comes east, then it goes under the loop and heads west again. I was really disoriented by the time I got the the Kedzie stop, so it took me longer then I wanted, but still, everything worked out fine.

Looking at the various media reports of the Edwards choice, Nightline and the local station's coverage, the various websites I frequent, Slate, Salon, TPM, Sullivan, MSNBC, and CNN, most feel like Kerry made the right choice, but temper that by parroting back the RNC's talking points that they put out minutes after Kerry made his choice. The "Is he too inexperienced?" and "Can he handle Foreign Policy?" lines were trotted out extremely fast. Salon focused on the contrast the Vice-Presidential debate will be presumably, as there have been some thought that Cheney may be dumped if its clear he's a drain on the ticket, probably replaced by Giuliani or someone like that, with Edwards' charm and prosecutorial debating style against Cheney's scowl and reserved nature. I would echo some concerns voiced by those close to Cheney, however. He can be effective as sort of a straight talking CEO type, as he is straight talking, and was a CEO, and people might respond to that. He beat Lieberman because Lieberman refused to go after him, or he Lieberman. It did seem, though, that Cheney was better prepared and won the debate. Edwards, who by all accounts, is well liked by colleagues of both parties, will have to be an attorney, he will have to present the case as to why Bush/Cheney has failed, then grill Cheney like a defendant.
Edwards is Bill Clinton's equal when it comes to campaigning, and it doesn't seem like he has the drawbacks Clinton did. The personal story, son of a millworker, first in family to go to college, millionaire trial lawyer. His story about losing his oldest son makes him real, especially as a reason to get into politics. His optimism balances the ticket (Can one be a pessimist and be president? I would hope so), because Kerry can come off as dour. What Edwards needs to do is be engaging, to talk to the people in rural Ohio, Missouri, North Carolina (which is in play now), Pennsylvania and even Michigan, and convince them that no matter how much they want to vote for Bush because he's like them, they can't afford too, literally. He, and Kerry too, need to show that Bush's economy isn't helping them, and that he is sending off our, and their, sons and daughters to die for reasons that don't add up or to settle some personal score. Bush is not "their guy" no matter how many times he mispronounces "nuclear" or spouts off simplistic answers and solutions to incredibly complex problems and issues. He's the right guy to do it.

Thank you for the kind words Ms. Kraly and Mr. Sellers.

Talk to you again tomorrow.

The Veep and the Weekend
Sorry about the length between posts. I wasn't able to post last Thursday or Friday because I was frantically trying to finish papers, and I was tired Friday night and just went home after class. My first summer session is now over, and now I have a huge relief on my time related stress. Now I get the stress of looking for an internship, but I have experience with that from DC, which hopefully should pay off. My class this session is downtown, which will allow me to exercise, walking to campus is about 3.5 miles, as well as walk directly from work. It also meets twice a week, but I'm more used to that downtown from my previous sessions, plus the money I'll save on gas will be nice.

Edwards was the best choice. Previously I argued for John Lewis, but I knew this to be a sort of "outside the box" pick that might not fly with the leadership. Edwards helps Kerry in a lot of ways. He is relentlessly optimistic, his smiling face will be a sharp contrast to the dour visage of Cheney in their debate. He gives the campaign a very human story, he's not the son of privilege the top President and Kerry are, and he worked his way up to riches and political success. The Republicans are already coming out saying that Edwards is the second choice, and that he lacks experience. Its true, Kerry initially wanted McCain, but that's like saying that when an hockey GM hires a great coach but was rebuffed by Scotty Bowman, he had to settle. Kerry-McCain would have been an unstoppable ticket, but it was never likely. The Panthers probably called Scotty Bowman when their opening came up, but he wasn't going to take it. That doesn't mean Jacques Martin is someone they wouldn't have otherwise wanted. By the way Bush's father was also "the second choice". Reagan initially offered the Veep slot to Gerald Ford, which would have been unbeatable and brought America's first "Co-Presidency" with Ford basically operating as the nations COO.

Second, Edwards has just as much experience in government, six years, as Bush did when he ran for President 4 years ago. If Republicans make this argument, and it is incredibly transparent, the Democrats should just reply that Edwards has national experience, which Bush did not 4 years ago.

I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 Sunday. I enjoyed it immensely, the mother from Flint and her encounter with the protestor in front of the White House, and the woman who came after both of them, was heartbreaking, as was her whole story. I never got the feeling the Moore was using her, as he did the "Rabbit lady" in Roger and Me, for comic relief, she brings the war home for anyone who doesn't have anyone over there. I'll write more about it tomorrow.

I saw John on Saturday. I was walking home from Spiderman 2, my congratulations to Karen Green on her performance by the way, and I saw him, Andrea and another guy on a stoop and I stopped to talk. He's been real busy, setting up two new stores as well as having the Writing 5 show, Jean's wedding, and other stuff to deal with. It was still good to see him, though. We haven't seen as much of each other this summer as I thought we might, but we both have our own lives, I guess I just didn't realize how busy his would get. Plus I have put him in a lot of awkward situations lately, so I know I might have been not the funnest person to be with.

Anyone know when Ms. Kraly's birthday is?

I hope everyone had a good long weekend, I'll probably be able to post more often now, so hurrah.

The Democratic Response, or, I hope I don't piss John off too much

My presentation went well last night. I do well with PowerPoint because the slides keep me focused on points, but I can also be free to talk about other things that aren't on the slides as well. Now comes the hard part, writing the paper.

The title of this post has to do with John's friend Ken's post on the subject of Fahrenheit 9/11 and his reaction to it. I will lay this on the line: I've never met Ken in my life. When he was here last fall I believe I was probably at work, or looking for work, or in Kalamazoo. I know of Ken, only through what John, Karen, Jean and Rhea have said. I know we believe vastly different things politically. I read Ken's blog every now and then, as it's linked from John's. I do not know if he reads mine, as he has never met me. Presumably he disagrees with a lot of what I say if he does, and obviously that is his right. Unlike Ken, I have not served this country in uniform. I thank and admire Ken for doing so, because I likely wouldn't go myself. If that makes me a coward, fine, then I'm a coward.

I don't have problems with what Ken says about the film itself, I haven't seen it, and thus cannot speak to its merits. I know that unlike Ken I can't give you my experiences about what life was like on the front during the war.
Michael Moore is what he is, a documentarian. He admits freely that this film is more of a filmed version of an op-ed piece than straight documentary. He has his points to make and he makes them. Can he seem condescending? Yes, but then nearly every documentary is. Michael Moore has spent the last twenty five years living and writing about politics. He founded one of Michigan's first alternative newspapers, he edited one of the leading liberal magazines, Mother Jones. He has gone after the corporation that literally built and then destroyed the city of his birth. His weekly TV series that used to air on Fox made being a muckracker and a gadfly cool. Not many people would have the DC Gay men's chorus show up at Jesse Helms' door. Moore made one of the funniest black comedies of the post-Cold War era, Canadian Bacon. He's published books, campaigned for Ralph Nader, done a ton of work to investigate the fascination our country has with guns, attack both parties and, of course, go after GWB. Can Michael Moore talk down to his audience? Yes. Does he often make his subjects, particularly those of lower social classes, subjects of humor? Yes. These are his failings as a film maker, not as a person.
Michael Moore is well within his rights to paint George Bush any way he wants to, so long as he doesn't say anything libelous. Bill Clinton has nothing to do with George Bush and his presidency. Everyone knows Bill Clinton lied, its been well established. George Bush promised to restore honor and dignity to the White House. He is himself, I will admit, very likely an honorable and decent man. His journey from Prince Hal to Henry V is incredibly interesting. But on the left, we will still see him as a man governed too much by a seemingly Apocalyptic Christian worldview, one that doesn't allow him to see the world in shades of grey. Steadfastness and doggedness are admirable qualities in a leader, but so is the ability to admit mistakes and change course if poliy isn't working. Bush has not shown the ability to do this. His obsession with his own ideological purity doesn't give the opportunity for nuanced poicies or compromise, the very bedrocks of our government.

Moore uses Craig Unger's book "House of Bush, House of Saud" to source his claims about the link between the Bin Laden family (which disowns Osama), the Saudi royal family and the Bush family. As far as I know, the only people who believe truly that 9/11 was staged are those in the Muslim world, who believe it was done by Mossad, Israel's intelligence agency. Getting Bush out of the classroom wouldn't have necessarily meant projecting his own cowardice or panic. If he had left, it would have said to the nation that the commander and chief is ready to get back to DC and do his job. The Bush team had to know that once the planes hit, the coverage would be from New York, not his appearance in Florida. The networks literally would have said what the President was doing, that he was at a school, he heard about what happened, and that he and the Secret Service left immediately, to try to get back to DC, or the bunker. If Bush had left, it wouldn't have said anything negative about him at all.
Iraq had never been a threat to attack the US. Saddam's plan to kill Bush's father was to be sprung when he visited Kuwait, after Bush had been out of office for a year. He wasn't trying to kill the sitting president of the United States, that obviously would have been cause to attack, and killing a former president would have been as well. Assassination plots are hatched daily and never get off the ground, or are foiled, these aren't direct attacks on the United States.

Was Saddam an awful man who did incomprehensibly terrible things to his opponents? Ye she did. The Iraqi people suffered terribly under his rule, especially during the sanctions, when Saddam took the aid given to the nation and built palaces for himself and his sons. There are terrible men like this all over the world. But we didn't go to war with them. Were Saddam's crimes, as terrible as they were, justification for invasion. Yes, they are, but only now. This is the only time we have preemptively invaded a country on the basis of liberating its people from suffering under tyrannical leadership. We didn't go after Japan and Germany until after being directly attacked and Germany declaring war on us. We didn't go after Mao, after Stalin, after Pol Pot, or Idi Amin (Who Ate People). I find, and for 99% of our history, our country has found,preemptive war to be a moral evil. Republicans opposed operations in Bosnia and Kosovo for these reasons. The church condemns it as such. The Pope condemned this war because of it. We are currently allies with a military dictator who seized power in a coup (Pakistan), a man who tortures political opponents and is rapidly becoming a despot (Uzbekistan), and others who commit terrible acts. It typically has taken a lot to get us to go to war, and no matter how terrible Saddam was, his brutality against his own people would not have justified war in past generations.

I do not believe the administration lied about what they saw as Iraq's capabilities as far as WMD's. What I do believe is that those in power at the Pentagon, the civilians at DoD, not the Joint Chiefs, selectively took the intelligence they wanted, and used it to justify war. WMD's, in general, is a more compelling case to present to Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public than Iraqi atrocities. Had the UN been able to complete the inspections process, perhaps hundreds of American lives, and thousands of Iraqi lives would have been saved, because the idea of Saddam as an imminent threat would have been extinguished. I simply believe that we rushed into war without exhausting all diplomatic opportunities. The neocons at the Pentagon operate under a dangerous worldview that the projection of American power abroad can only be made via force. They believe, I firmly think, in the idea of an American empire. This is an anathema to everything our foreign policy, and our country, has stood for for 228 years. They are the danger. The troops are heroes. The military acted bravely and brilliantly. Lives have been lost in Iraq because the civilian leadership in Arlington didn't do its job, because "men go to Baghdad, Real men go to Tehran" is the way they think. The Powell doctrine of overwhelming force has been cast aside. Perhaps its use would have saved many lives.
It generally is liberals who point out the undemocratic way the military is structured. In an all-volunteer army, the underclasses are more likely to go because in a lot of places, its the only opportunity to get out, to get a college education, to see the world. Children of privilege, on both the left and the right, I doubt too many children of Fortune 500 CEO's, Heritage Foundation board members, or kids getting sent to Hillsdale are in the military, have more opportunity. The military becomes like the priesthood for many of these people, a calling only to be undertaken by only those truly called, not the doorway to a future career or education. We on the left don't want to see anyone fight, and if they have to only at an instance of last resort. We love the troops, well most of us anyway, the Chomskyites generally are pushed to the periphery anyway. It's he people at Heritage, at the National Review, in the Pentagon who don't do the troops the service they need. They put them in harms way, needlessly.

I hope I haven't made anyone upset, especially John or Ken. I've tried to be even handed. If you feel I've attacked you, I'm sorry, I haven't gone out of my way to do that, I've only stated my own opinions.

Regarding the state of conservatism today, Mr William F. Buckley (Founder of the National Review) said there was an ongoing debate about the war in Iraq which clashed with the traditional view of the right that American foreign policy should only seek to protect its vital interests. "With the benefit of hindsight, Saddam Hussein was not the kind of extra-territorial menace that was assumed by the administration one year ago," he said. "If I knew then what I know now ... I would have opposed the war."

Starting the long week, by talking about the weekend

This week will probably be my toughest, academically, since last fall. Both my classes this session are ending, and so stuff is coming due. I have a 12 page paper due Thursday, and a presentation tomorrow. I also need to write some reviews, including one that will force me to go out to eat Wednesday night, or I suppose, Thursday afternoon.

I was kind of split on the weekend. On the one hand, I got to spend more time with my Grandma Graham, I hadn't seen her since the funeral. She seems to be doing well, but my aunt Mary and her daughter Grace stayed for more than a month after my grandpa died, and so now she has to face waking up alone everyday. She talked about doing little things, turning the radio on when she gets up, to avoid silence, as well as treating herself to things, in her case half and half as opposed to skim milk in her coffee. On the other, we were at a family reunion, and therefore there were people I have seen maybe once in my life, and yet we're family so I don't really know what to do. The Scofields are a bit different from our family, and there were lots, and I do mean lots, of kids running around all over. One interesting thing though, as a means of keeping the kids busy, as well as a means of getting to know one another, the Ferlito's (My dad's sister Annie, my uncle Kenny, and their kids Dominic, Jodi and Ricky) came up with this idea to play "bingo" where people would initial little bits of info about themselves on a board. Every 5 in a row got them a "Ferlito Dollar" which could be given to the kids in exchange for them doing a chore. The kids then got to buy toys and other things with the money later. My brother and my cousin Ben, through what means I don't know, came into possession of a large cache of Ferlito dollars, and made the kids do things like feed them grapes (Robert) or cut up their food into bite size pieces (Ben).

The administration really must have been scared about handing over sovereignty on the 30th. They've effectively wasted potentially great PR by handing over sovereignty when they did, this morning at about 2:30 Eastern time. This means that it happened while all of us werea sleep, we could only hear about it this morning, not watch it. It was not the "event" I'm sure the Bushies wanted it to be. Instead, Bremer's on his way back, almost looking like he's trying to get back as fast as he can because who knows what happens now.

I did not get a chance to see Fahrenheit 9/11, but obviously the fact that it was #1 at the box office, with only about two weeks of promotion, and being that it is a documentary and such a controversial film, it really was surprising. Hopefully, enough of the audience will be people who are undecided about whether they will vote for Bush or Kerry that it will make a difference, particularly in Ohio, or in Pennsylvania or Florida, states that might tip the balance come November. Great job by the right-wing in promoting the film by talking about it ceaselessly,giving Moore all of the free press he needed.

Two Pictures, and other things

First which picture would you rather look at, this, which has Alex looking like he's thinking hard and about to say something, or this because it has PTM in a ridiculous hat?
Email your responses to jimshilander@yahoo.com or just comment below by hitting the comment dealie.

I got hit on while walking back from my car tuesday night by some young women in a Ford Explorer, I believe they were inbibing alcoholic beverages at the time, so it was the equivalant of construction workers hooting at passing women, I just thought I'd share this information.

I went to a concert at Metro, which is kind of a club/small concert venue near Wrigley last night, to do my music review for class tommorow. I saw The Streets which is this hip hop/ dance group from Birmingham, UK. I really didn't know how to describe them at first, my initial impression was kind of a British Everlast, but now I'm thinking more like a Multi-racial and British version of Jurassic 5. I enjoyed the show, even if it did start an hour and 40 minutes after its scheduled start, I guess they had a lot of late arrivals or something. Good show, I may by their CD or ask for it for my birthday coming up, or I'll just recommend it to you good people.

I also worked on my rewrite of my theatre review, and I called the play "a beached whale of a show. Like the sea mammal on land, the script flails about for something to swim in, but instead dies a slow, agonizing death." I figure that is about as mean as I will get, but frankly it deserves worse.

Draft is tonight, the 'Stones don't pick until the second round, where I figure they'll either take a Euro and leave him over there for a year or two, or maybe a senior like Arthur Johnson, or Bernard Robinson, Jr. who went to a fine institution for his basketball and academic career. I would take Okafor #1, but I'm suere the Bobcats would be pleased to get him at two, because he'll be a solid player for the 12 years or so, someone that gives the franchise a good start.

Indiana and the Bulls are said to be nearing a deal to get the Seventh pick to Indiana for Al Harrington, and Indiana would take Luke Jackson from Oregon. Last time the Bulls made a deal with the Pacers they traded away Ron Artest, Ron Mercer, Brad Miller and other stuff for Jalen Rose and Travis Best. That worked out really well didn't it.

I really don't have a ton to talk about today, which is why I am kind of blathering on. I will try to blog tommorow, I will be going to Cleveland for a family reunion this weekend, I'll be back sometime Sunday. Then I have a really busy week next week including a 12 page paper, two reviews and a presentation, plus stuff for work and therapy, and I will be ratcheting up my search for an internship for the Fall. Of course after next week I won't have to drive again for probably a month, which is a huge bonus, plus I get the day off Monday, sweet.

I'll blog again Monday for sure, maybe tommorow. Have a good night, I hope everything is going well for all of you and give me a call sometime.

I Alienate my Entire Sex, and Rant about What Coaches Stink and who Should go to School

I had my counseling session downtown today, we're starting to talk about why I am so hard on myself, meaning, why I say or think things about myself that I don't other people. In this vein, I need to tell a story about my ride home last night:

I got on the 156 and sat near the back, the two women sitting ahead of me either were friends or worked together, or obviously, both, and were talking about their relationships. One of the women talked about how she just assumed, unless the man she dated told her that he wanted to date exclusively, that she would just assume he was dating several women, and so she didn't feel bad about seeing several men. Both women, one was 22, the other 29, seemed to be in agreement on this point and both seemed extremely cynical about men and the kind of men who still dates like that.

Now I realize that I am not exactly the poster child for dating experience, and that I have been called a traitor to my gender on occasion. But seriously, why is it that we as a gender are such bastards when it comes to monogamy? I don't condemn these women for what they do, they are just doing the same thing men have done for time immemoriam. There's nothing, after all, to condemn, I don't know them, I don't know who goes into their beds at night, nor is it my business, nor do I care. But why is it that seemingly the vast majority of us (men) don't seem to understand that monogamy really is not that hard or understand that the women we love aren't toys to be used for our amusement. The men in these women's, and in suspect in many women's,lives let down the rest of us. They let us down because they gave proof that we're not good people as a gender, that our entire sex is hard-wired for relationships that we don't take seriously and that we don't care about the person inside the dress, just about getting on our bedroom floor. Seriously, the situation is getting so bad that all men may need to be taken into a room A Clockwork Orange style and have their minds warped to not hurt women and to be sensitive to their feelings, I don't know how, maybe show some movie with a one night stand and that makes you violently ill or something.

Ok, now the long promised rant on Butch Davis: While walking last night I came to the conclusion that there are simply a lot of coaches perfect for college and some perfect for the pros's, they can't do the other. Pete Carroll, for one, he was terrible in stints with the Jets and the Patriots, but he has almost single-handedly brought USC (the real USC, the other one is just South Carolina) back from the dead. Butch Davis was the one who did this at Miami. The recruiting scandals that put Miami on probation nearly destroyed the program, it was Davis' emphasis on character and finding guys who "got it" that brought them back. Then he was hired in Cleveland and it just hasn't worked. A college coach is his own GM, he goes out personally and gets the people to fit his system. In the NFL, this isn't necessarily true. There are people above you who do that. Butch Davis doesn't like this. He drove out Dwight Clark, he drove out Carmen Policy, he drove out Ron Wolf, the man who built the Packers, because Policy brought him in, and he only brought him in a few months ago. He released all of the starting linebackers from the playoff team of two years ago and replaced them with rookies or Eagles castoff Barry Gardner. The cap is still too high, and the Brown can't maneuver to get what they really need, an offensive line that will keep the quarterback, whoever it is, vertical. It was assumed Davis would be a great pro coach because he comes from the Jimmy Johnson Cowboys staff, but then again, so did Norv Turner, Dave Wansttedt and Dave Campo. Look at all of the success they've had and tell me this wasn't a brilliant idea the Lerners had to hire Davis.

The caveat to my Pro/College comment is this: there are certain guys in the NFL right now who I think would be great college coaches, chief among them, John Gruden (sorry John) and Jim Haslett. Both are fanatically hardworking, Gruden famously gets to the office at about 4:30 am every morning during the season, and so would likely never be outworked in recruiting or in getting players to play the way they want them to. Gruden in particular would bring instant credibility to a program, like say North Carolina or Syracuse, or keep a great program great over a long period. Plus, by the time players might tune you out, which they are less likely to do, college coaches are one step below gods to a lot of players, they'll be ready to leave, and you keep bringing in fresh blood. I really think this would work. Haslett has been mentioned as a possible successor to Paterno when he leaves Penn State, so I'm not alone in that feeling.

Self-Awareness and Making Amends
Not that busy a day here, nor weekend for that matter. I got to see Saved! which I eill be reviewing for my class on Friday. It was very good and I'd really recommend it to anyone frustrated by the right-wing's use of religion as a weapon. I also did a lot of walking and thinking, about life, my current situation, a lot of things.
I know that I've had a relatively easy life, and that the "hardships" I've endured have not been anything too demanding or troubling. I've only lost one grandparent, and that loss has been made easier because of the way my grandfather lived his life, he lived a happy one, surrounded by friends and family. I know that I am not not loved in the same way my grandfather was. I know that in many ways, I'm not a terribly lovable person. I am almost painfully introverted in most social situations, enough so that if I'm in a large group of people I don't know, I either shut dowm, go into a mild panic attack or immediately retreat to be on my own. I've even done that, in high school mind you, with groups of people I knew well. I know that I can be painfully slow on the uptake when it comes to the normal social rules of society. I know I can be scatter brained and difficult to deal with or get a handle on. I know that I shrink from any confrontation like a mouse, because I have this irrational fear of confrontation. I don't look out for my own needs at all, because, very often, I don't even know what they are. I just want to believe that for some people, my being in their life has had a positive effect, that my thoughts, feelings and actions have left their mark on the people I love with all of my heart, my friends and family. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about what I'm writing, this is not a suicide note or anything like that. I know that I have been Incredibly self-absorbed over these past few months since the breakup, and I just want to apologize to everyone. I have had to confront a lot of things, some of which I still don't understand or haven't made peace with. That being said...

To Laura, Susan, Amber, Andy, Steph, Audrey, Karen Green, Alison, Amy, Nick, etc.,

I'm sorry about being so wrapped up in myself the last few months. I care about all of you a great deal, and I'm sorry if my inability to deal with my own situation frustrated you or made you think less of me. You are all incredible people, not just for who you are and the friends you are, but because of your compassion, your grace, your belief in me and everyone around you. I can never thank you enough for all you've done to help me in this time.

To John,

I'm sorry about the clearly untenable situation I've put you in so often lately. I know that I've been too needy, too clinging, because, well, you've had to be my confidant when you didn't want to be. I'm sorry about asking so often, about not being a real friend when you have a life too. Thank you so much for the way you have helped me through this time, and I'm sorry I didn't do this til now.

To my family,

I'm sorry about being so distant, about not working on the things I should have been because I've been too wrapped up in myself. Obviously its been difficult the last few months with everything, and my feeling sorry for myself has not helped anything. I will do my best to be a better son, brother, grandchild and whatever else from now on.

Most importantly,
To Karen Marie Steeno,
I'm sorry about the way I've treated you these last few months. I have been scared, frustrated and confused, emotions that have hurt my bid to recover and move on, so that we can try to be friends again. I have have fouled up time and time again and I've done you wrong, because you shouldn't be having to worry about me right now. I am doing my best to work on the things I was lacking, the maturity, the life skills, the self-awareness. Thank you for being the most wonderful person to ever be in my life, for changing my heart, for being good to me. You did what you felt you had to do, and I'm sorry if I've made you feel guilty about doing what was best for yourself. I hope that someday soon, we can have our friendship again, and that I will grow to be the man you thought I could be.


Thank you for sitting through that, the Butch Davis rant will come tomorrow, in case you really care.

Listening...and Why the Browns stink

I just finished my reviewing the arts class. We got our theater reviews back, I didn't do as well as I thought, but I will be able to work on it to go for a better grade, not that anyone really cares, I just thought I'd actually tell you, dear readers, what happened.

We did an exercise where we just sat and listened to the sounds that surrounded us. We all did this individually during our lunchbreak. I hadn't really listened like this in a while, especially the last few months, I've been busy and too self-absorbed to really stop and listen to the sounds of the city. It was really interesting to hear the way the cars cut through the air, the way the brakes squealed, that sort of thing.

As most people who know me well realize, my NFL fanness (I know I just made that word up) is divided between the Lions and the Browns. John already gave his take on the Packers getting Couch, so here's my feelings from the other side. The Browns, when they were originally constructed were in a difficultposition. Obviously, the city of Cleveland had been hungering for football ever since Modell moved the team, and in the intervening non-football years, both Carolina and Jacksonville's expansion teams had done extremely well very quickly. The Browns brought in Carmen Policy and Dwight Clark, who had experience building the 49er's dynasty, and so we thought everything would be ok. However, after that every move they made has just seemed to be a mistake. They hired Chris Palmer, who had been a coordiantor with the Jaguars as their first head coach. Frankly, for everyone who watched and commented on how lousy Marty Morninwheg was with the Lions, Palmer was basically just as bad. They had no line and when the front office put together the team, they failed to take advantage of the natural advantages they had, as far as free agency, the Browns didn't get one player in either FA or the expansion draft that made people say "wow". Still, the biggest mistake was the decision to take Tim Couch with the #1 pick in the 1999 draft. Compounding this mistake was that the debate in the Browns front office was vbetween Couch and Akili Smith, who had one good season at Oregon before becoming one of the worst busts ever as a pro. Couch had a lot of the things that make you wary of taking a quarterback high, but the Browns did anyway. He was a "system" quarterback, Kentucky threw all the time and threw short passes that relied on recievers to make long runs to gain yardage, this is a system that doesn't usually translate into producing NFL QB's (see Ware, Andre, Klingler, David, and Kingsbury, Kliff). The second quarterback chosen that year was not Smith, instead it was the one out of Syracuse, Donovan F. McNabb, who has appeared in three NFC title games and made some of the more amazing plays of the last few years made by quarterbacks.

Then came the hiring of Butch Davis...but I'll get to that monday

Have a good weekend everyone

The 'Stones, Saddam, and the use of torture

I just had my fourth, I think fourth, session. I'm going to have to change times soon, because my class in the B session, which goes from the start of July to mid-August, was cancelled, and I've been placed in a similar class downtown. This means I won't have to drive after the 4th, except for when I'm going home. In my session we talked a lot about my family, and about my abhorrence for confrontation.

A lot of people have been talking about where the Pistons go from here, or where they rank. I feel like they will probably be the New Jersey Devils of the NBA, they will always be there, and they will probably will a few titles, but probably not be considered a Dynasty. If you look at the Pistons, the easy comparisons are to the teams that won titles in the 70's, sort of cvollections of talented but underrated players who play together. Will they be the greatest dynasty ever? No, but that doesn't matter. The team, and the title are still incredibly special, especially when you consider the state the franchise was in only a few years ago.

I remember about a year ago, when we couldn't find the WMD's, that some thought that e had found them, but that the announcement would wait until before the election. Obviously, this has proven not to be the case. Now the administration is doing something similar with the Saddam/Bin Laden link. They are now saying there were contacts, which the 9/11 commission says there were, but not nearly the kind of contacts that they said existed. They implied the Saddam was one of the principal backers of Al-Qaeda and that the two were almost married to each other. Obviously, if anyone knows the facts about the two, this is not the case. Bin Laden saw Iraq, a secular state and enemy of theocratic Iran, as a bad thing, the kind of government that would be toppled when Radical Islam took hold across the Mid East. Saddam feared Al Qaeda, in fact the meetings that operatives had didn't lead anywhere because the two sides could not get along.

The memo stories are just getting worse. It's obvious that higher-up's were trying to find ways to get around international treaties banning torture, this is really making me, and should make everyone who cares about our standing in the world, sick.

John is off to BR for the weekend, I hope you have a good time John, and say hi to everyone for me.

I'll post again tomorrow, promise.

Alex..Yes Alex

As much as I make fun of him, possibly out of jealousy, it is nice to see Alex do well

First, we lost a true giant of sports writing a couple of days ago when Ralph Wiley passed away at 52. Check out the tribute to him at ESPN.com's Page 2(it's linked on this page at "the mothership". In addition to the way he wrote and how he inspired a generation of black journalists including Wilbon, Jason Whitlock, Stephen A. Smith and others, Wiley's writings taught me a lot about basketball, boxing and the craft of writing itself. If you read some of his work, like this, where he understands a week and a half before the finals started, what would happen between the Lakers and Detroit. May his family, friends and peers be comforted in this time.

Did anyone catch the glowing things GWB said about Bill Clinton yesterday at the unveiling of Clinton's portrait? I wonder, seriously, if this might damage him with some of the fringe members of the Clinton-loathing right, enough, perhaps to cost him a few hundred or thousand votes in states like Arkansas, Missouri or Florida.

Obviously tonight's game is big. We'll see what happens, the first quarter should tell us how the game will go. If there is a big Laker run, we may still have a series, if it is close, like last game, look for the third quarter to decide it, and if the Pistons get up early...

I need to point out a couple more things, one, Colin Cowherd, the guy ESPN Radio got to replace Kornheiser when he decided to stop doing radio, is a hack. He admits to openly rooting for the Lakers, making him about the only national radio figure to be doing so, judging by the shows I hear at night, and has continually ripped on the Pistons since before the series began. He has said the Pistons would roll over, that they played a "greco-roman" style of basketball, that they're winning would put an end to basketball as a beautiful game. Lately, with the Pistons in command, he has set about calling them the "worst NBA champion of the last 25 years". Obviously, he is a putz, not as clahssic as Mr. Tony and basically just one step above Jim Rome.

George Bush went to Rome last week, and met with the Pope. While there, he seems to have approached some of the top officials at the Vatican, if not the Pope himself, about the American bishops " complained that the U.S. bishops were not being vocal enough in supporting [Bush] on social issues like gay marriage, and abortion," a Vatican official privy to the discussion said. (CNN) Ok, I unerstand the Karl Rove thinks he can woo Catholic voters by pressing the differences between John Kerry and the church on issues like, and probably almost exclusively, abortion. We have had Catholics of both parties run for office and support abortion. Jennifer Granholm did, though her home parish, our Lady of Good Counsel in Plymouth, was picketed by the usual anti-abortion folks, and shescewered by the Monaghan people for taking communion. But that was a state campaign, and relatively few people cared about it. Now, with bishops publicly saying they would deny Kerry communion, as well as groups like the rainbow sash people in Chicago, being denied communion because of their disagreement with the church on issues, we face the real possibility as a church of becoming intertwined with politics. I have always believed that my Catholicism made me a liberal, that Christ's concerns about social justice and the needs of the poor pointed naturally to concern for them and their issues. Others, including many of my high school classmates and their families, see it differently. But that is a point to be debated. For the hierarchy of the Catholic church, who have about the same moral authority as the guy in the trenchcoat in the back row of a movie theatre right now, to make judgements about whether the average American Catholic, who does disagree with church teaching on abortion, contraception and the ordination of women, let alone politicians is absurd. The righties are really opening up a can of worms because they don't understand the Catholic electorate. We do NOT act as a unified group, we tend to vote the way everyone else does. But by targeting Kerry, by making political statements and turning the most sacred act of faith, the transubstantiation of the Eucharist and the act of communion, into a political issue will only drive more Catholics, fed up with the Church leadership, to John Kerry, as it should.


As the Bush crowd worked shamelessly last week to wrap their man in the holy shroud of Ronald Reagan, the dead president's son, Ron Reagan, delivered an eloquent eulogy that discreetly signaled his conviction that Bush is no Reagan. "Dad was ... a deeply, unabashedly religious man. But he never made the fatal mistake of so many politicians wearing his faith on his sleeve to gain political advantage," said Reagan at the burial service for his father on Friday, and there was no mistaking the meaning of his words.

Sorry about the length between posts, but I don't have the internet on weekends and thursday and friday were a little crazy for me.

Couple of things... Obviously the Pistons have completely destroyed any semblance of Laker invincibility and inevitability with the way they have frustrated the Lakers, especially Kobe Bryant. Bill Plaschke made the point in the LA Times today that the fact that Shaq did not have 50 last night cost the Lakers the game, and the person most responsible for that was Bryant. Credit Larry Brown for single covering Shaq, he is dominant, and you can't help that. But Shaq is a very good passer from the post, and if he's facing constant double teams, he can find people open very easily. But Shaq becomes more dominant if you think he's going to dominate, and you make special efforts to curtail that dominance, which you can't prevent anyway. What the Pistons have done is make Kobe a volume shooter, forcing him to take as many, or more shots, as he has points. Kobe is selfish and stubborn, and therefore just keeps putting up shots, while Shaq just sits down low, waiting to score. The Pistons offense was something I don't think anyone was prepared for, especially with the scores of the Eastern conference finals. But the East and West play different styles, and so the Pistons offense is far freer facing a Western team than it was facing Eastern ones. The reason the Nets were slaughtered the last two years is that they played Western style basketball, and the Western teams were ready for it.

The Reagan stuff. Ok, I realize every liberal has had their say as to why he is undeserving of the kind of canonization RWR has been receiving lately. I will boil it down to two reasons why I feel he isn't, AIDS and South Africa. Obviously, much ink has been spilled on ho Reagan ignored the AIDS crisis and did not publicly acknowledge it for several years after it was a known illness. In the meantime, thousands died and millions were infected. Reagan prominently supported the white government of South Africa in the 80's when much of the world was condemning apartheid. Reagan advocated tha we lift sanctions, vetoing a Senate bill that would have placed sanctions on the nation. The veto was overturned. Understand it takes 2/3, 67 senators to do this, it never happens, except here.

The dollar issue: Reagan shouldn't be on any currency. I realize that people are pushing for people to put him on the ten, but come on, did he really do more for the nation than Alexander Hamilton did? If you must put him on something, put him on the 2, its rarely used, Jefferson already has the Nickel, and the R's can have their prize and Democrats save face. This does however lead me to one complaint, that Chief Justice John Marshall, the man the made the Supreme Court the powerful entity that it is, is not on any currency. Perhaps the next dollar coin should have Marshall, with the Supreme court of the reverse side. I feel this would pay tribute to a man long ignored for his contributions to American government.

Ok, here's the thing about what happened last night. I felt like I was hit in the gut, I seriously knew the minute Bryant got the ball that he was going to make the shot. I was surprised that the Pistons couldn't get anything better with more than 2 seconds left on the clock. There are just certain teams I hate, and this Laker team has always been one of them, dating back to when Shaq and Kobe first got there and there seemed to be this sense of entitlement about them. By the way, does anyone who actually calls a game remember that Bryant is potentially going to be on trial for rape, and has admitted adultery? I realize that I'm old fashioned in this regard, but I find adulterers to be one step above rapists and child molesters on the scale of who the worst type's of people are. I realize that there are degrees of adultery, ie, your wife has terminal cancer and is a vegetable is not as bad, as say, Scott Peterson cheating on his pregnant wife, but still its wrong. Its why I rarely have sympathy for those who cheat on their bf/gf and then breakup, they deserved to get caught, they violated a trust. If are a spouse, you made a contract before God, or the state, that this would be the person you would devote your life to. That's a thing not to be trifled with, let alone tossed off like an empty liquor bottle when it suits you.

Sorry, I really don't know where that came from.

Anyone who reads this and is interested in politics/gossip should click on the link I added yesterday for Wonkette. Its a really dishy political gossip site that's fun to read.

Anyone with suggestions for a play can email, and please do, I'm not sure what to write about so any help would be appreciated, just don't do anything silly like this guy.

I just wanted to post some thoughts on who Kerry's Veep choice SHOULD be, since the campaign has been not at the top of the news cycle this week with RWR's passing. I know a lot of people are saying it looks good for Edwards, because Kerry has him going around raising money right now, and I saw in the Sun-Times today that Tom Vilsack, the governor of Iowa is being considered. Both have obvious appeals, Edwards because he's an optimistic character and potentially would look good contrasted with Dick Cheney, and Vilsack because Iowa is an important swing state. Gephardt would bring union votes, but probably not Missouri. Let me argue hard for someone else, however. John Lewis is a congressman from Georgia who worked with the SCLC and Dr. King in the 60's. He's a veteran of the civil rights era who has gone on to serve hi constituents in Congress. Josh Marshall makes a good point about the way the black vote is an automatic for the Democrats. My opinion is, if you look at the people maddest at Bush, you have the intellectual Left, the anti-war people, unions, military families, obvious groups that will turn out heavily in November. I would argue that putting a real hero like Rep. Lewis on the ticket would turn out millions of new voters, including Hispanics to the Democratic side, and that could mean the difference in states like Ohio, Michigan, Nevada, Missouri, Florida or Georgia. Contrasted with the Bush team, Lewis has real accomplishments and has spent a lifetime fighting discrimination and intolerance, just the message the Dems need against the ticket that wants to write discrimination into the Constitution.

Obviously the big story of the weekend was the death of Ronald Reagan. We've heard a lot over the past two days about how Reagan made the country feel good about itself again and how he changed American politics. It's difficult for me, or anyone of a similar age to mine to judge the former, simply because we didn't live through it. Obviously, the cumulative effects of the long defeat in Vietnam, the embarrassment and corruption of Watergate and the Nixon administration (remember, Gerald Ford was appointed VP because Spiro Agnew was a common grafter, and was as Vice-President, never trust Maryland politicians), and then having the joy of the bicentennial counteracted by oil shortages and the taking of hostages in Iran had America down. Reagan's brand of conservatism, equal parts Goldwater's western libertarianism, John Birch Society type anti-communism, and an appeal to evangelical Southern Christians did seem rosier and genuinely more appealing than the malaise of Jimmy Carter or the depressing style liberalism of Walter Mondale. The "It's Morning in America" Spot is still one of the great ads ever done. Obviously, Reagan was the Great Communicator" and most people genuinely thought him a good man, on both sides of the aisle.

On the other hand, Reagan brought to Washington a new kind of conservative. The kind of conservatives who worship Reagan today because he did everything they would love to do, project American power through bombings and invasions (Libya and Grenada), lower taxes AND increase spending on defense, and cut sopcial welfare programs. George Bush has onsciously tried to emulate Reagan more than his father. Bush 41 was never trusted by conservatives, he was from the northeast, went to Yale, seemed a member of the eastern establishment they so hated. When Bush failed to do what the conservatives wanted, they simply stayed home in 1992, or voted for Perot. Bush 43 has done nothing but appeal to the religious right, perhaps alienating many Republicans more concerned with fiscal discipline than the end times.

Reagan was a good man, and probably history will remember him as a good, but not great president. He will be credited, unjustly, with winning the Cold War, though he only continued a policy begun with Truman and pursued by every president afterwards. He created huge deficits. But he did inject a sense of optimism into the country when it needed it.

The Pistons win last night was surprising, especially because of the way they did it in the second half. The Lakers have won their series by winning the third quarter, either taking teams out or erasing leads and taking them in the fourth. Larry Brown brilliantly realized that Kobe and Shaq will score, and its very difficult to stop that What they can do is make Kobe a volume-scorer, force him to put up as many shots as he gets points, and stopping everyone else. No other Laker scored more than 5 last night, and the other Lakers had a total of 16 points, that is insanely good defense on everyone else. They have no answer for Shaq, but that's probably ok, so long as the supporting cast is kept in check.

I saw a rather odd play yesterday for my reviewing the Arts class. It featured lots of very short scenes in this young Chicago man's apartment, and the various people in his life. The problem was that none of the characters weren't very well developed because of the style of the show, and because we only saw the main character against all these other characters, we ended up not really caring about him very much.

I will leave you with the following thoughts:

"Von Braun developed the V-2 during World War II for Hitler, emigrated to the USA to create rockets for NASA, and became something of national hero in the space agency's heyday of the 1960s. Mort Sahl once quipped that von Braun's autobiography 'I Aimed For the Stars' should have been subtitled "but Sometimes I Hit London."

Rank
Team
Win
Loss
Tie Games Pct. PF
PA
Delta

1
Michigan
833
274
38
1145
0.744
27898
11774
16124

2
Notre Dame (IN)
796
258
41
1095
0.746
27391
12631
14760

Just finished my second session, I talked a lot about myself and my own insecurities and how they've made me the man I am today. Afterwards, I heard the always bright tones of the voice of Mrs. Susan Southard, which as always, brought a smile to my face.

George Tenet resigned today, as I am sure you are all aware, citing personal reasons. I do know that Al Gore called for his resignation a week ago at his speech that has been taken way out of context by the right wing and their media outlets. The speech was for the most part very calm and cerebral. I don't mind Al Gore being upset and shouting, I don't question his sanity as the right wing does in an attempt to marginalize his views. Do I think he's bitter about 2000? Yes, but then he likely has a right to be. He knows that with him as President, we likely would still have had September 11th, but the response, and the way we have used the good will of the world, would have been far more tempered and even handed. I've seen other speech makers do far worse.

The PBS station in Chicago has a wonderful nightly program called "Chicago Tonight" which runs for an hour at 7. Every PBS station in the country that can afford to should consider doing something like this, because a long form show like this can really explore issues that the commercial stations won't discuss. Last night the show featured a panel discussing the senate campaign in Illinois. It featured a higher up from both the Ryan and Obama camps, as well as a veteran journalist, all being interviewed by Phil Ponce, who does a very good job moderating these discussions. I don't know how many of you from not Illinois saw this, but the Jack Ryan campaign has a man who follows Obama's every public step, up to the men's bathroom. The Ryan campaign is hoping to get inconsistencies from Obama in terms of what he says "in Springfield and in Chicago". The aide has a small digital camera, its really quite weird. Obama has taken to asking people if they would like to meet his stalker.
I'm telling you about this to illustrate one thing. This is really stupid. Jack Ryan has a bunch of things going right for him, he's young, good looking, has a good story (he left his investment firm to teach at a South Side High School), and is very rich. But he also has some things going against him. He has mysteriously sealed divorce records from his marriage to Jeri Ryan (by the way...YOU WERE MARRIED TO MARRY TO JERI RYAN AND GOT DIVORCED? HOW F****** STUPID ARE YOU?)George Ryan was the last governor and has been indicted on charges of patronage, and the last name might make people wary in a statewide race. More than anything though, Ryan is very conservative in an increasingly Democratic state. The senator that Barack Obama and Ryan are running to replace, Peter Fitzgerald, is a Republican, but he's more liberal on a lot of issues that the standard Senate Republican. I don't believe a conservative like Ryan can win in Illinois. Even if he gets 75% of the vote downstate, he still will lose huge in Chicago, just because of the R next to his name. The Tribune poll last night had a figure of 52% to 30% for Obama with the rest undecided. That means that if all the undecideds went to Ryan, he still would not win. The defense the Ryan man made was that it was early, and maybe the support for Obama was soft. But...both candidates had to face primary battles. Each are known to a lot of people because they saw them on TV early. Obama got more votes in the Democratic primary than all the Republicans put together got in their's. Ryan is a desperate man doing desperate things. I really think he has a bright future, just not here. Obama has too much star power, to much appeal to blow it. And Jack Ryan being an idiot doesn't help him at all.

Ok, so the Pistons won last night, getting back to the finals for the first time since beating Portland in 1990. Was it ugly? Good lord yes. The fact that neither team reached 70 makes it very easy for pundits and others nationwide to dismiss the Pistons chances against the Lakers. While I don't think they will win the series, many people are predicting an easy sweep or a quick five game series. Frankly, I don't see it. The two teams played two relatively tight games in the regular season, both when the Lakers had the big 4 at the same time. Here's how I see the series breaking down:

The key for the Pistons to have any shot at winning the series is Chauncey Billups. In both games against the Lakers this year, he was the leading scorer, and his is the only matchup that the Pistons potentially have a big advantage. Small forward is essentially a wash between Tayshaun Prince and Devean George. The other matchups, especially if you combine the two "big" positions into a sort of mish-mash the way the Pistons do, go the Lakers way. They need to try and contain Shaq, and if necessary, either employ the Hack-a-Shaq or offer little resistance to him to score most times he gets the ball down near the basket and a shot can't be contested, disrupting the other player's offensive flow. Billups needs to take advantage of Payton's declining defense, assuming that he is being Guarded by Payton. Rip has to stay within 10-8 points of Kobe's total, hoping that Rip's style of play will tire Kobe in the 4th quarter. The Pistons should be able to limit the contributions of the Lakers role players offensively, and I am including Malone and Payton in that group. The team needs Billups to come up big, to be an offensive option that will open up the floor for Rasheed and Rip. He needs to hit his shots. Prince needs to outplay Devean George, and I think he is capable of doing so. But I still think the star power of the Lakers will be difficult to overcome.

Hopefully may problem with the Haloscan comments will be fixed soon. If you want to comment on a post just click the Comments that are already there and follow the instructions.

That's it, hopefully another good drive tomorrow. I have my second counseling session, and I will try to get more sleep after being exhausted last week.

I'll post again tomorrow, everybody be good to each other

There really hasn't been a lot to discuss about the weekend, I went back to my family's house Friday, making incredible time by the way, and then just sort of sitting artound until Sunday when we went to my Granparent's house in Cleveland. We stayed there the night, and ate breakfast in the morning, and I came back last night. That's pretty much it. I didn't have a chance to watch the Sunday morning shows, though I was able to keep up my Buffy and Angel fixes. One significant thing today that seems to have gone underreported is that a court over turned the ban on Partial birth abortion, which leads me to my rant.

My old High school, frankly, has gone insane. While I was there things seemed pretty normal. A catholic high school is a catholic High school, and while we were obviously stricter on things like dress code or language then say Community High just down the street, we were for all intents and purposes, a normal high school. Only in my senior year did things start to get a little weird. We had drug testing put in, on a sort of, "if we suspect you we'll test you basis" which seemed a bit fascist, but I guess understandable. I objected at the time, and still do, but I do understand the reasoning. After I left, and I heard my brother's stories about how almost a third of his class was either kicked out or asked not to come back after a school year, it got me to thinking that Richard may be going a bit to far. Then came two events that really set things in motion as far as the wrong people being out in front: the principal, Richard Bayhan, resigned after the diocese refused to back him after he suspended a student for giving a shaving kit to a female teacher, and the new school was built, on land donated by Tom Monaghan and kitty corner from Christ the King Parish.

I'm sure most of you know who Tom Monaghan is. He founded Domino's and later bought the Tigers. Well, he has always been a religious man. He founded missions in other countries, he built Catholic schools. And he funded Operation Rescue, the radical anti-abortion group in California. This earned him a boycott from many liberals, who refused to order from Domino's. About a decade ago, he sold Domino's, and the company that bought it, in addition the the hundreds of millions they gave him for the company, paid him an additional hundred million NOT to start another pizza chain. Needless to say, Tom Monoghan is a very rich man. And a man of deep faith. And he lives in Ann Arbor. This is not a good combination. The schools he has set up tend to be from a stricter model of Catholic education, which is different, but I suppose he knew there were people who wanted it. The troubling part comes later, when he began setting up the following things Ave Maria University, a four year school now located in Florida, Ave Maria School of Law, which is a very conservative law school set up because he believed law shools at places like Notre Dame and BC weren't "Catholic enough", and scariest of all, the Thomas More Law Center, set up to be the "Catholic" answer to the ACLU. Monaghan also gave Richard the land to build the new school on the Domino's Farms property. This was before he proposed to build the crucifix that would be taller than the statue of Liberty on the property.

Christ the King Parish is a part of Opus Dei, the conservative Catholic movement that uses evangelical worship techniques anmd holds the Bible and strict adherence to church law to be sacred cows. The kids I went to school with who attended Christ the King were always a bit more hardcore about their faith, but could also be like Mandy Moore in "Saved" the kind of Christian who uses their faith as a bludgeoning device. Well, not suprisingly, after my class left, and especially after Bayhan left in 2001, the school seemed to be virtually controlled by the Opus Dei people. They seemed, and still seem to have, a grip on the school that seems unchecked. They have the power to review what songs come on at dances, what dances are danced at dances. They have the power to see that their views are the only ones seriously taught in theology classes, and social behavior in and outside of school is regulated. This brings me to the heart of why I am ranting here.

A recent school newsletter contained a note from the Chaplain, Fr. Richard Lobert, who started at Richard the same year I did. It talked about how, with Prom season coming, parents needed to raise "their alert levels" about sexual activity by their children. They equated this alert to the one the Dept. of Homeland Security raises about terrorism. Only then did I find out about the people behind the alert being issued, the SIC (Sexual Integrity Committee), made up of mothers and other people involved in the school. They had brought in Chastity lecturers, sent home notices about other things. The group was headed by the mother of one of my high school crushes, the one that I wrote about in the play that was performed at workshops, and from which my blog now takes its name, junior year. The idea of a committee like this is scary to me for one reason: the possibility, and probability, that it would create a "Crucible" type of atmosphere around sex, and make life especially difficult for kids who might be gay. I can imagine them outing people is what I am trying to say.

This is something no one should want, obviously. I have seen what my friends have gone through, especially when it comes to mixing their sexuality and religion. I know that one person in particular had a very difficult time trying to attend and perform at chapel at Albion because certain close minded individuals did not want them to be able to. I don't want this to happen in high school. I don't want a group of religious zealots branding students with the Scarlet letter 'G' or 'W' or anything like that. I want the teens of Richard to be taught about their sexuality, to talk about it openly with their teachers and parents. They can be taught about saving it for marriage, and the great gift from God that it is, but also to understand what is going on physically, and to understand that you don't go to hell because of who you are or mistakes you have made. That isn't happening know. The board, the faculty, the PTG, it all seems overrun with zealots. I just hope this might help some of them come to their senses and breathe.

Sorry to bore you.

Jim

My first counseling session was today. It was essentially me going over what brought me here, presumably next week we will start to get into some of the issues I have been having.

There really isn't a whole lot for me to say today, as I'm rather tired. I wanted to be sure to get to the appointment on time, and thus went to work at 8. I probably stayed up later than I should have, so getting up was rather difficult. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier, as I am thinking of sleeping in til about 9, and getting out of Chicago after morning rush hour ends. I don't have to go downtown for my check because I got it today, I just can't cash it til tommorow, which I will do on the road.

I have been missing people lately. I called John today to wish him luck on his performance and to say hi to his parents for me. I really miss Susan, I haven't talked to her in a while either. But again, she has a whole other life in LA, so that's really not a big deal either. Hopefully I can talk to her soon.

There are certain songs that I have heard lately that just sort of cut deep. On the way to Schaumburg I heard a song I'm sure most of you are familiar with, "Cherish" by The Association. I have really been trying to listen to the words of songs lately, and I am usually struck by how much is there in songs from the 60's and 70's and the Motown era that aren't there on, oh , the Top 20 on 20 channel. That's not to say there aren't people today doing powerful work, but its not on the top 40. Of course, whenever I here a countdown on 60's on 6 and they're doing the top six songs on a given week and "Honey" or anything pre-British Invasion and done by white people other than the Beach Boys or Buddy Holly comes on at number 1, its pretty bad too. Back to my original point, there are just songs I have heard lately that bring out emotions I have been having, and saying them in a way I never could, "Cherish" for my personal life, "Load Out/Stay" by Jackson Browne for how it made me feel to perform, old Motown for just getting through the nights sometimes. Music really does help, its the one thing that can really effect me right now more than anything else.

Ok, sorry I didn't post anything more interesting, though I would like to suggest taking a look at an article in the Washington Post about a school in Russia where the history teacher and her students have some very interesting discussions about Communism and Capitalism and whether Democracy is right for Russia

Today has been uneventful, thankfully. No great emotional things to deal with, or bore you with.

My bank is extremely hard to deal with right now. My bank card was lost when I lost my wallet about a month ago, and my drivers license if waiting for me at home. I have my temporary license, which doesn't have a picture, and my work ID, which does, in terms of identification. I went to the TCF mini-branch at the Clark/Division Jewel in order to get my pin for my new card, so I can finally get the damn thing. They wouldn't let me, and then, wouldn't allow me to write a check to cash, so I can have some money to get gas with Friday on my way home. I will be headed down to the real branch at Madison and Wabash after work, they seem to be a bit more understanding about these things.

My propaganda class should be an interesting one. The six week format is actually closer to some of the classes I had at Albion, in terms of having two classes a week for 2 1/2 hours, and needing to keep up with the reading. The final project is longer than anything I've had at Roosevelt so far, but shorter than the usual Grossman 48 hour midterm is expected to be.

I checked out a Pro football preview magazine that I saw at Borders yesterday. I was shocked by the fact that it was there this early, obviously, but I was also surprised that they only had the lions finishing at 5-11, the same record as last year. Last year the team lost its only playmaking wide receiver, who had shown some flashes during those first few games, after week 5, and was essentially playing with a bunch of guys (Otis Smith and Doug Evans come to mind) who they signed off the street in the secondary. This year they will have a decent running game, no position, perhaps other than kicker, can be filled by a young player more effectively right away than running back. At wideout, where they will be young, they replaced Bill Schroeder with Roy Williams, about the most drastic upgrade I can imagine them making. The defense will be better as Dick Jauron simplifies it, and Bailey and Lehman give them speed at Linebacker. Bryant and Bly should be one of the better cornerback tandems in the league, if one of the shorter ones. Most importantly, and this comes from no less of an authority on the West Coast Offense than Bill Walsh, quarterbacks in the system make their biggest jump in year three. They become good, to very good, as they get used to the terminology and it becomes sort of second nature to them. Harrington, for the first time, will have explosive Wideouts on both sides, have Az Hakim in the slot, and a running game. I predicted 10-6 a while ago on John's site, I will temper that down to 9-7, but I really can't see them much worse than 7-9. They should be ahead of Chicago by the end of the season.

politically, the move John Kerry is considering, waiting an additional month after the convention in July to accept the nomination in order to continue fundraising seems to clever by half. The networks' only reason to cover conventions today is to see the acceptance speeches by the nominees, that's it. There is no intrigue any more. The question is whether John Kerry would lose out on the post-convention bump, usually about 14 points, that a candidate usually receives at the end of the four day pep rally. If the networks won't cover it, and they do cover the Republicans draping themselves with the flag and the World Trade Center in New York in September, Kerry loses the ability to negate Bush's bump with his own. Kerry has always been a strong closer, to use horse racing terminology, meaning he rises in the polls at the right time, the last few weeks before an election. He did it to beat William Weld for Senate in 1996, and obviously in Iowa, which propelled him from dead in the water to dead set nominee in a month. But he can't risk this. He really is only going to get something like $10-20 million in that month, the convention is worth twice that and its free. Accept the nomination, and you have to be content with what you, and your VP nominee, can raise in the next two months. But all you really need is to have enough to counter Bush, you don't need to raise the same, just enough. Just play it safe, get the bump, and go on from there. People will be too distracted by the NFL to notice the President anyway

My car is behaving oddly. A light I had never seen before came on during the surprisingly long trip out to Schaumburg, I left at 2:30 and didn't get here til 4, and the steering was a little off. I am not as concerned about Friday, the drive home for Memorial Day Weekend, as I am about coming out to Schaumburg again Thursday, as my class has its second meeting and I have my first counseling session. Speaking of that, I hope it goes well, I really feel like I need something right now, someone to talk to about what happened. If anyone sees Karen, please let her know that I am trying my best to get better, and that I hope I can talk to her, as a friend, by the time my birthday rolls around in mid-July.

The Pistons won last night in a thrilling fashion, though the game itself may not have been played in a thrilling fashion. Having seen replays of the block by Tayshaun Prince, the radio announcer doing the game on ESPN Radio on my XM didn't do a good job of articulating what happened and describing the play. He treated it as if it was a routine block, not the great athletic play that it was.

There is an old George Carlin routine, one that I remember well because it was on when I totaled the green Saab last summer, where he performs an entire newscast as different characters. This was recorded probably 40 years ago, because Carlin is still "straight" no beard, no ponytail, no embrace of the counter-culture as yet. When he gets to his sports report, he begins reeling of the NBA scores. The joke is that he's not giving any team names, but all the scores are in the 140-120 range, for both teams, the punchline comes when he says "And in an overtime duel, 98-97". The crowd laughs uproariously, because obviously the game had to have been unexciting, neither team hit 100. Today, we wouldn't bat an eyelash at such a score, and we have a three point line. Commentators often fault the Bad Boys Pistons for bringing the game down to the way it is today, removing the skill and making the defense incredibly physical. While the latter charge is of course true, the first is really misleading. Those Pistons teams averaged more than 100 points a game, and their defense, the best in the league, held teams JUST UNDER 100. Games like last night, and the game Sunday night show that skill has been lost, or that the game has changed over time because of the size of the players involved. There are few traditional centers left. The men who have changed the game are those guys, like Kevin Garnett, who are ridiculously long for their frame. If you look at old fims from the 50's and 60's, it looks like they are playing on a different court. There is so much more space for players to get open and shoot and to dribble. They dribble forever in the old films. Perhaps what they need to do is to take a cue from olympic hockey, widen the court. Anyone who watches Olympic Hockey, or Canadian Football, realizes that space creates more artistry and less physicality. The NBA, for the good of the sport, should at least attempt something like this. Try it in the NDBL for a year, the way the NHL does with the AHL whenever its trying something like removing the redline. Bring the artistry back. Or just pound it in to a center on every play. Either way works.

I feel like I am coming apart right now. I am hoping for things to happen that almost certainly will not, but the thought of them happening makes me so happy, I don't know that I want to accept reality. Something happened yesterday. I tried to reconnect with someone from my past, and they literally could not hear me. But that incident, and a whole lot of thinking over the past week has made me realize just how unready I am, how much I am still mourning over what happened three months ago. Its like a viscious cycle.

Jonathon Alter appeared on Air America last week and talked about this column which I just find utterly fascinating. Any time you can bring up one of history's two great historian/traitors (Thucydides or Josephus) is a good one. But the general tenor or what Alter says about Bush, and about what the conservative dialogue in the country is saying is absolutely dead on.
What John Kerry needs to do is make George Bush look like Pat Hopple. Now I love Pat, but he could be extraordinarily hard headed, especially when it came to potentially admitting he was wrong. That is this president's problem. He is so obsessed with his own intellectual and philisophical consistency that he can't reverse, or even change course on issues. I learned in Washington that ideological consistency is great, and could be an admirable quality, for those never seeking higher office. Paul Wellstone liked Jesse Helms because he knew what he stood for. But a president needs to be more nuanced. He needs to be able consider all points of view, and if one course isn't working, to change it. This is the great fault of the administration. They cannot admit when they are wrong or have been wrong. This is seen as weakness. The one thing George W. Bush has not wanted to be is his father. His father lost, the logic goes, because the conservatives didn't see him as conservative enough. But what scared America more was Pat Buchanan at the convention, talking about a culture war, making the Republican Party the party of the intolerant. Bush will not be accused of not being hard enough. The problem is that he has an incredibly soft underbelly when it comes to eerything else, America doesn't seem to believe it is headed inthe right direction, even if it admires the President for being unflinching. Being uncompromising can be an admirable quality, but , to paraphrase Shelby Foote, our whole system of government is founded upon compromise. Uncompromising people shouldn't head the government.

Elect JFK 2

Ok, a few things things about this week that have been a little bit off or weird. This is my off week from classes at Roosevelt, and its been nice, but when I checked my grades Monday, figuring a couple would be in at least I saw that I had failed Media Criticism. This, suffice to say was pretty shocking and unexpected. And there is a reason for that. Because I didn't fail it. My prof made a mistake when he was putting the grades in and suddenly I had failed. This is being taken care of, hopefully, but the website still has me as having an F. On the bright side I did get an A in Magazine Production, which is something I am very proud of, because Im and a lot of other people worked really hard on it, especially our prof, who had to stay up very late for a few nights ecause some people did not have their shit together in time for production. I think, at least I should be able to get a good letter of recommendation ftom him, as I have to start looking for internships for the fall.
Speaking of that, I don't have to be here in the fall. I will only have one class which would require being in a classroom, and that meets on Mondays, my internship and project will be able to be done outside of school. I also confirmed that my lease runs out at the end of August, so I will soon be getting in gear to get an internship, hopefully somewhere in Indiana or the MI.
I am starting therapy soon. I had a preliminary meeting with a counseling student from Roosevelt who works during the walk in hours of the counseling center on Tuesday. I talked about everything that's gone on the past three months and how it has affected me. She said that on Tuesday, I would be getting a call about scheduling a more permanent time. Obviously I needed something, I just needed a push from someone really important to get me there.
I "earned" $75 yesterday for showing up on time for a focus group. They apparently over-recruit sometimes, but they gave me , and two other guys, "incentive pay", to do another focus group soon, because we didn't actually do one.

I really do not understand what the leadership of the Republican Party is thinking. Yesterday, the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE made a joke about John McCain not really being a true Republican because he has voiced concerns oer Abu Gharib and other war issues. The worst kept secret in Washington is that McCain hates GW Bush. He hates him for the push polling (which the Bush campaign denies doing) that took place in South Carolina, that charged him with fathering a black child (he and his wife adopted a child, who I believe is Bangladeshi, a few years ago), and for what he saw as coopting his campaign themes when Bush didn't believe in them (Reformer with Results). I do not believe he would run with John Kerry on what would amount to be a war hero ticket. I don't even believe McCain is likely to switch parties. The danger is that the Republicans, by treating McCain , and by extension, his fellow maverick and veteran, Chuck Hagel so shabbily, they may risk creating their own Zell Miller. Zell is the "Democrat" who openly campaigns for Bush, shreds John Kerry to the media and talks about how the party leadership has lost its way. If the leadership continues to push McCain, though, I could see a situation where McCain not only does not campaign for Bush, but openly does so for Kerry and his VP nominee. By the way, the more Republicans that come out seeing problems with the Iraqi policy, I have seen Lindsey (former impeachment manager) Graham, Dick Lugar, and the only man in the Senate to have married Liz Taylor, John Warner, the more problems there are for Bill Frist in the Senate and by extension, the White house. The senate is in play, and I will guarantee that the Dems take a seat here in Illinois, where Barack Obama will probably crush Jack Ryan to fill Peter Fitzgerald's seat. The possibility of more problems in Iraq and an unpopular president certainly does not bode well for the Republicans in the upper chamber.

Be well

Just some thoughts on what has been a rather disappointing and hard day.

One, Last night's game made me sick. I, and every other red blooded American, hate the Lakers. Duncan's shot was so miraculous that it just seemed likeome preordained moment for this Spurs team to find their destiny. The one thing that really bothered me about it, however, and this has been an NBA rule for some time, so it wasn't just a one time thing, but why is it that teams get to take the ball out of bounds at half-court following a late time out? Shouldn't the team that just scored be rewarded by forcing the other team to go 94 feet to make a shot, rather than cutting that by almost 2/3?

Second,
John Sellers did a great job of articulating the moral outrage that I know a lot of people feel about the Abu Gharib prison story. Let me take a step back for a second, however. The administration , and that includes everyone from Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz to the lowliest neoconservative policy wonk at the Pentagon or at Foggy Bottom, has consistently been wrong about every single major assumption about post war Iraq. First, and most famously, the thought that we would be treated as liberators, like, as Paul Wolfowitz said, "Paris in 1944". We haven't been. We have ousted Saddam, true, but we then installed our own government of Iraqis (the Governing Council) that had no legitimacy or authority. L.Paul Bremer is the authority. Second, that Iraq's reconstruction would be self-financed. Obviously, this has been so wrong its silly. The oil plants in Iraq have done nothing to lower prices here, nor have they provided an iota of support for reconstruction efforts there. Third, that Ahmed Chalabi, the man the CIA, NSA and every neocon on earth had been using as their buttress against the claims made by Scott Ritter and Hans Blix about WMD's, and most sane intelligence analysis by our allies, would be seen as legitimate by the Iraqi people, and that we would be able to hand over the rule of the country over to him, and the Iraqi army and police force, soon after toppling Saddam. This has been a horrific failure, and Chalabi himself has been cizying up to the Shiites in recent weeks, not especially aiding the cause of builing a United Iraq. Fifth, that the war in Iraq and the war on terror were tied, so that defeating Saddam would cut off an important resource to Al Qaeda. This was an argument made by people in my IR class a year and a half ago, read Hopple and Sarah Priebe, and it is so stupid because it ignores all logic. Al Qaeda is a fundamentalist Islamisist organization. Saddam was a SECULAR head of a party that was Leninist in a lot of its beliefs. They were not tied together. And we have simply, thru the occupation and now the prison photos, created a new generation of terrorists who see us as imperialist and decadent, waiting to fall to a righteous wind of suicide and large scale terror attacks. I could list dozens more. It appears however that there are really only three options for a future Iraq, and by future I mean post US/Coalition occupation.

1. Iraq becomes a theocratic state like Iran, led by the Shiite majority. Obviously this is the last thing we want, especially with regard to the safety of Israel.

2. A Balkanized Iraq featuring three states divided by religion and ethnicity, the Kurds in the north, the Sunni's in the center, and the Shiites in the south. This isn't going to work either. Neither Turkey, a member of NATO, or Iran would want to see an independent Kurdish state that might be a security threat to them. The Saudi's would fear a Shiite presence on their Northern border, that might simply act as the puppet of Iran, their coreligous neighbor. And the Suuni's would be caught in the middle, and would not be happy about it.

3. The most likely scenario, and the one floating around now, creating a "united" Iraq, with each group listed above having basic autonomy to self govern. The Kurds have had this for a while, because of the no-fly-zone. However, keeping such a state legitimate, as well as guarding against Sunni or Shiite takeover may be difficult.

These are not perfect solutions, but we cannot go as we are now, and we cannot pull out now either. We are stuck for the long haul. Our best hope is that JFK gets elected and makes it a more multilateral, and Arab, coalition.

Good luck digesting all that.

John's performance is at 1130 AM Sunday, so that should be fun, and we'll probably go see Troy, otherwise known as the beautiful people movie, afterwards.

Have a good weekend all of you, be safe, and be good to yourselves

First things First - Congratulations to the Albion College Class of 2004. For Amy Lewis, Darcy Crain, Alexis Snyder, Julie Maxey, Sean Logan, Matthew Meunier and Kelsey Hulse, I wish you all much success and I am sure you all will achieve it. You are all wonderful people.

Congratulations to John on being cast in the Writing 5 show. Obviously the Second City mainstage has no idea what its in for, and rest assured I will be there with bells on ( What does that even mean?)in August.

My Grandfather died on Friday. I was on my way home anyway, to attend commencement, and as I approached Indiana while on I-94 my mother called and asked me where I was. I said that I was moving along, and then she told me that he had died. I said I was sorry, frankly because I didn't know what else to say. She told me to come home.

My grandfather, as I said before, suffered a heart attack last week. As I said then, and as I will reiterate now, my Grandfather did not take care of himself as well as one might today. But that doesn't make his life any less worthwhile. My grandfather could be hard to get along with sometimes, he could be argumentitive and extremely stubborn, but he could also be very loving.

When I tried to kill myself almost ten years ago, it was my grandfathers words of encouragement that helped me to understand that I still was worthwhile. Whenever I needed help he was there for me, and encouraging my gifts and talents. He supported me in everything I did, with encouraging words and hugs.

I know that last few months have been hard for me, and this doesn't help matters. But then I think of my grandmother and the sense of loss she must feel. She has lost the father of her children and the man with whom she shared her bed for the past 53 years. My family went to church with her yesterday. She has handled this very well, and she has probably been preparing herself for this for the past week. But still, twice during Church, when they announced his death during the intercessions, and then later when they announced the funeral time, I saw her break down for a second. And my heart broke. My grandmother is a saint, I've never heard her say a bad word about anyone and she has spent her life helping people. Now I just need to be there for her.

The last time my grandfather came to Chicago I knew something was wrong. The walk from his hotel to my apartment usually takes me two or three minutes, its about two and a half blocks. My grandfather needed to stop along the way because he got so tired. It took us about 10 minutes to make it. I didn't want to see him in such pain. Maybe this comes as a relief then, knowing he won't have to suffer anymore. But still I miss him, and I wiush I could have said something more to him the last time I saw him, a couple of weeks ago. To let him understand what a good man he was, and how his goodness helped make his children, his grandchildren, and everyone around him better.

I don't know what I believe about God, about whether there is any sort of plan for me. But right now I have to believe that there is a better place, and that my grandfather is there, watching over me, my grandmother, and his family. If you pray, please pray for my grandmother, my mother and her siblings. Thank you all.

Not the best day today. Lots of things I need to deal with still and get through. I thought I had turned a corner, but maybe I'm just fooling myself.

A very interesting article on Salon today, "here" I do feel like there are a lot of people who are much too worried about the Kerry campaign right now. As a rule, campaigns generally start well after this, and the general public really doesn't start paying attention to the campaign until after the Olympics. I agree that I would rather see Kerry beating Bush by 20 points right now, especially given the bad month Bush had in April. The torture/abuse scandal will hurt, especially if the fighting in Fallujah and Najaf intensifies because of it. This scandal is about the worst thing that can happen in terms of the Arab "street". Homosexuality, or even a hint of it, is considered to be about the worst thing in Islam, and the pictures of naked men piled on top of each other like a beaten down human pyramid is not exactly the best thing in terms of the winning of hearts and minds. Kerry had, up until the questions about the medals/ribbons, stayed silent, letting the news from Iraq and the 9/11 commission do the work for him. This was ok up to a point. He has essentially been playing rope-a-dope the past few weeks, absorbing Bush's ad blitz while raising boatloads of money to respond. I have seen reports that up to $80 million dollars has been raised in the last month, while Bush has gone through almost a third of his campaign funds in trying to define Kerry as a weak wristerd Liberal in the battleground states. Kerry just bought $27,000,000 worth of ads in these staes, and the ads are apparently well done, especially in terms of reintroducing Kerry to the voters in these states. Good luck JFK 2

Ok, sorry for the rather lengthy space between posts but things have been very hectic and weird this week.

First,
My grandfather had a heart attack, I believe on Friday night, and had to go to the hospital, where he still is. My Grampa Graham has not exactly taken care of himself his whole life, he ate a lot of foods that aren't all that good for you, drank beer at every non-breakfast meal, outside of Lent, and smoked foR a long time. All that being said, I don't want to lose him. He has been a very important person in my life and one of the people who shaped me. He's done a better job lately of taking care of himself so hopefully that will pay off. I have been very lucky. I am 22 and have never lost a grandparent. I know that what Laura has just gone through has hurt her, ˇˇ. I know that as time goes on I will lose them, but I would like to keep all four of them around for a while longer. Get Well Grandpa, especially for Notre Dame-Michigan.

Second,
I went down to John's Saturday night. I walked down there, an pretty quickly to, though I wasn't hurrying. Anyway, as I got up to leave around midnight, I couldn't find my wallet. It wasn't in my jacket, John's room or in his car. I tried calling Jewel, where I had gone while John went to Blockbuster, because I knew I had had it because I paid for a bag of Riesen with my check card. Anyway, they didn't have it. I checked back later that night, still nothing. John very graciously lent me some money to get home, but still nothing. I was able to cancel the card, but the problem is that my DL and my Social Security card were there as well. I had to call one of the credit reporting companies to make sure that no one takes out a line of credit in my name. I also lost my U-Pass, which added to my cost of living the last two weeks of school.
My mom met me in Indiana Monday with money and my birth certificate. I will be coming back into Michigan on Friday to get my license and to attend commencement. So if any of you are officers of the law in Illinois, Indian or Michigan, please do not pull me over.

I will check in with more entertaining thoughts tomorrow I promise. It may be a late night tomorrow because my Magazine Production class is having its deadline at the end of the night, and we need to put everything to bed.

Wish us luck.