I Alienate my Entire Sex, and Rant about What Coaches Stink and who Should go to School

I had my counseling session downtown today, we're starting to talk about why I am so hard on myself, meaning, why I say or think things about myself that I don't other people. In this vein, I need to tell a story about my ride home last night:

I got on the 156 and sat near the back, the two women sitting ahead of me either were friends or worked together, or obviously, both, and were talking about their relationships. One of the women talked about how she just assumed, unless the man she dated told her that he wanted to date exclusively, that she would just assume he was dating several women, and so she didn't feel bad about seeing several men. Both women, one was 22, the other 29, seemed to be in agreement on this point and both seemed extremely cynical about men and the kind of men who still dates like that.

Now I realize that I am not exactly the poster child for dating experience, and that I have been called a traitor to my gender on occasion. But seriously, why is it that we as a gender are such bastards when it comes to monogamy? I don't condemn these women for what they do, they are just doing the same thing men have done for time immemoriam. There's nothing, after all, to condemn, I don't know them, I don't know who goes into their beds at night, nor is it my business, nor do I care. But why is it that seemingly the vast majority of us (men) don't seem to understand that monogamy really is not that hard or understand that the women we love aren't toys to be used for our amusement. The men in these women's, and in suspect in many women's,lives let down the rest of us. They let us down because they gave proof that we're not good people as a gender, that our entire sex is hard-wired for relationships that we don't take seriously and that we don't care about the person inside the dress, just about getting on our bedroom floor. Seriously, the situation is getting so bad that all men may need to be taken into a room A Clockwork Orange style and have their minds warped to not hurt women and to be sensitive to their feelings, I don't know how, maybe show some movie with a one night stand and that makes you violently ill or something.

Ok, now the long promised rant on Butch Davis: While walking last night I came to the conclusion that there are simply a lot of coaches perfect for college and some perfect for the pros's, they can't do the other. Pete Carroll, for one, he was terrible in stints with the Jets and the Patriots, but he has almost single-handedly brought USC (the real USC, the other one is just South Carolina) back from the dead. Butch Davis was the one who did this at Miami. The recruiting scandals that put Miami on probation nearly destroyed the program, it was Davis' emphasis on character and finding guys who "got it" that brought them back. Then he was hired in Cleveland and it just hasn't worked. A college coach is his own GM, he goes out personally and gets the people to fit his system. In the NFL, this isn't necessarily true. There are people above you who do that. Butch Davis doesn't like this. He drove out Dwight Clark, he drove out Carmen Policy, he drove out Ron Wolf, the man who built the Packers, because Policy brought him in, and he only brought him in a few months ago. He released all of the starting linebackers from the playoff team of two years ago and replaced them with rookies or Eagles castoff Barry Gardner. The cap is still too high, and the Brown can't maneuver to get what they really need, an offensive line that will keep the quarterback, whoever it is, vertical. It was assumed Davis would be a great pro coach because he comes from the Jimmy Johnson Cowboys staff, but then again, so did Norv Turner, Dave Wansttedt and Dave Campo. Look at all of the success they've had and tell me this wasn't a brilliant idea the Lerners had to hire Davis.

The caveat to my Pro/College comment is this: there are certain guys in the NFL right now who I think would be great college coaches, chief among them, John Gruden (sorry John) and Jim Haslett. Both are fanatically hardworking, Gruden famously gets to the office at about 4:30 am every morning during the season, and so would likely never be outworked in recruiting or in getting players to play the way they want them to. Gruden in particular would bring instant credibility to a program, like say North Carolina or Syracuse, or keep a great program great over a long period. Plus, by the time players might tune you out, which they are less likely to do, college coaches are one step below gods to a lot of players, they'll be ready to leave, and you keep bringing in fresh blood. I really think this would work. Haslett has been mentioned as a possible successor to Paterno when he leaves Penn State, so I'm not alone in that feeling.